I have a cat. Until he came along, I considered myself a true-blue dog person, but now I’m not so sure.

I admit I’m surprised by this new lack of conviction about something I once held as an absolute certainty.

As you know, dogs are loyal, outgoing, eager to please, and always willing to match or exceed your own level of enthusiasm for any action you’re engaged in.

Cats are condescending and aloof. They are uninterested in anything you say or do, unless it involves a can opener and their dinner dish. They sometimes allow you to pet them, but only because they perceive that you are benefiting from the experience, so they’re occasionally willing to — as the dog would say — throw you a bone.

Also, cats have manners — all of them finicky. If dogs have manners, you’d never know it, what with all that spirited bounciness on constant display.

Humor columnist Dave Barry once wrote that his dog, when transported into one of its frequent happiness deliriums, would likely end up performing the wee-wee dance of joy wherever he was at the moment.

And yes, I know that dogs achieve true dignity as they grow older, but sometimes I’m not sure it’s worth the wait. Especially when cats are pretty much born with it.

After all, my cat’s life consists of sleeping, eating, more sleeping and killing things.

It’s true. My cat is a stone-cold assassin.

Fortunately for him, that’s why we got him. We live in the great social tide pool between housing developments and the country. Lately, the housing developments have been creeping closer, so I suppose some of the smaller wildlife is being displaced.

This has led to a growing vole population in and around our house.

Voles, as you know, are basically midget mice. Tiny tails. They’re small enough for little girls to think they’re cute.

Our cat, however, thinks they’re torture-bait.

I know that sounds cruel. It IS cruel, which from the point of view of the cat is apparently the point. It’s a little weird to watch my cat, who is by nature reserved and dignified, revert to levels of cruelty in killing voles reminiscent of Saruman’s Uruk-hai.

Basically, he toys with them before finishing them off. He kills them by degrees. I’ve watched him suddenly let them go, allowing them to think they’ve escaped, only to grab them again. Once I saw him pitch a vole up in the air, then spike it, like a collegiate volleyball star, into a nearby tree. Then, ever the gentleman, he waited while the vole recovered slightly before launching new and even more fiendish attacks.

In the end, of course, the voles finally give up, fully resigned to their fate. They cower while awaiting the end, no doubt hoping for a fast and final finishing — but such passive submission appears to only irritate the cat. Robbed of even the most lopsided sense of competition, he completes the crime with a bored detachment that would do Scar proud.

But the party’s not over yet. The remains of the vanquished must still be presented to the Commander-in-Chief.

This is why most spring and summer mornings I will find a dead vole by the sliding door in the kitchen, or on the porch by the front door of the house. And sometimes, and I swear I’m not making this up, only the victim’s severed head greets us in the morning. I have no idea what he’s done with the remainder of the corpse — not that it’s an issue I care to investigate.

And like every modern dictator, I approve of the cat’s final results, even if I don’t approve of his methods. Voles are pests. Voles are the reason I got the cat in the first place.

Meanwhile, cats are easy to care for, and they do their job not only without complaint but with a certain level of pleasure. What more could the Lord of the Manor ask for?

I’m not trying to make any grand point here. My cat is just a shadow of the big predatory cats with whom he shares some DNA.

People, of course, are different — nearly always, thank God.

Chris Huston is an author and award-winning columnist living in southern Idaho. Connect with Chris on both Facebook and Instagram at Chris Huston-Finding My Way and at chrishustonauthor.com.

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